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Open Letter to My Hot Flash

Since I'm new to blogging, I've read a bunch of advice books and webpages on getting started, what plug-ins and web hosts to use, how to create a name and  logo, and all that jazz.  All of them advise you to find your niche and to not write about a bunch of disparate things.  But they also say to write what you know.

While the topic this week is certainly something I know, it's quite a bit 'off road' from what I expect to be writing about. But it's been like an irritating bug bite in my Evernote files -  I wrote it just to get it out of my head one night and now, quite frankly, I'm posting it just to stop looking at it. I'll go back to my regular programming of recipes and guilt tripping you into eating more veggies next week.

Many parents thoroughly enjoyed M.blazoned's viral post that circulated all over Facebook this summer entitled 'Open Letter to My Kids About Summer'. If you have not yet busted a gut over that one, stop now and go there - click on the link and read it. It's well worth the laughs even if you don't have kids and despite the fact that summer has come and gone.

If you don't have time to read it, the essay is by a mother of 3 daughters hilariously detailing how much she loves picking up after them and catering to their every whim over summer break (sarcasm heavily applied).

My husband actually read it at the dinner table to our kids one night the other week. He and I were practically in tears giggling but I kid you not, after he had finished reading, 2 of the kids actually said 'I don't get it!' (I guess in their little literal minds the author was the ideal image of the loving patient mother  - they apparently had got the short end of the stick with their stupid parents who actually make them do chores and pick up stuff when there were obviously great moms like this out there).

In addition to our kids maybe occasionally causing just a SMIDGE of annoyance, some of us mothers - particularly those being a teensy bit older than average or in my case being a breast cancer survivor experiencing the joys of early menopause induced by the chemotherapy I was treated with several years back (I'm all good now BC-wise, so no worries) -  may also experience another form of minor irritation....random visits from a hot flash.

As I was lying wide awake the other night in one of those perimenopausal hormonal fugue states that don't allow you to sleep even when you're bone tired,  I thought why not write an Open Letter to my Hot Flash? Sarcastic thoughts flew through my brain.  So the bulk of this post is what I captured thumb typing away on my Evernote app on my phone that night.......at 2:33 am.......in my son's twin bed......because he had come to 'snuggle' in our bed (i.e., lay with his arm across my face raising the temperature near me another 10 degrees on top of the heat hubby already generates).  No thank you. I'll go sleep on your penguin PillowPet in your bed.

So here goes.....hopefully taken as an homage, giving full credit to the original 'Open Letter':

Open Letter to My Hot Flash

Hi. welcome! No really, come anytime. You're welcome to make yourself comfortable making me uncomfortable whenever you feel like it. I LOVE the element of surprise in my life.  Life is too short not to have surprises.  With kids and work, my life is full of way too many boring routines - thanks for spicing it up!

We're such good friends now, of course that means you can come at even the most inopportune times - really, I understand, your hormonal, you can't help it. We all have our pecadilloes.

I especially love that you let others participate in the fun with me by introducing yourself in large work meetings or when I'm speaking in front of others.  It's such a great ice breaker when greeting colleagues for the first time or trying to make a good impression.  Really what could be more relationship-building than emphasizing 'Hey, everyone's human! Look at me, I'm sweating!' in a room full of high level executives in your company? Little known fact about me: I'm a redhead so flushing deeply really goes with my hair too. I'm sure they'll remember me even better now! So thanks!

If you can't make the meetings, no worries.  Just stop by and visit right when my boss is standing in my office doorway to get an update on my projects. I really love reaching for my dainty fold-out fan that sits in my pencil cup while he talks to me. With it's pretty plastic fake-lace edges, using it makes me feel totally feminine......just like a Southern belle at her cotillion. Plus it allows my boss to bond with me over a personal issue (which I'm sure will only strengthen our professional development conversations!). 

And please, you're certainly welcome to come after work too! Why not? I'm totally done working, right?  Just whipping up dinner browning hamburger for tacos on the stove. Muy caliente! I'm hot anyway so it's totally OK.  I'm in the kitchen - there's ice there - not a bother.

If you can't make it for dinner, then just come when I'm relaxing with a glass of wine or beer after getting 4 kids into bed. I love that this time seems to be one of your favorites times too.  Isn't it funny we both like the same things since I like a great wheat beer too?? And if I'm totally honest, a visit with you does help me remember a cool glass of water might have been a better beverage - thanks for helping me think about my choices - health is precious.

And definitely, don't let the fun stop when it's time to go to bed! I'm a night owl anyway. Invite your friend Mr. Night Sweats over! Because hormonal insomnia and kids in my bed may not be enough to keep me awake the entire night.....let's go for follow-through. The more the merrier - we're all friends here. I love waking up at 4:00 a.m. completely drenched. Inconvenient or uncomfortable to change clothes?? Psshaw...absolutely not - I have an endless supply of comfortable p.j.'s - so really, it's no problem changing them daily.  And really, this way I get an early jump on my day. Being soaked, including dripping hair, is super convenient - like I just took a shower horizontally without even needing to leave my bed - how cool is that? Bonus time saver in the morning!

Just one last thing, hopefully you can stay around long enough thru this perimenopause period I'm experiencing to stay for the real show when that happens! That would be so great - we'll get to spend even MORE time together.  Looking forward to it - can't wait!   See you soon!

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